Live the Dharma

Either they are really good at marketing, or my “self” is great at deceiving me, or probably – both.

Perhaps it’s not them, but me. Maybe I’m just not that strong.

Regardless, buy things doesn’t make me happy, yet I keep falling for the same tricks.

It’s always something…

Today it might have been a cello, while yesterday it was a new TV. The option isn’t really important, because no matter how I defend, using logic against emotion, against the feeling that I absolutely must buy something or my life isn’t complete, there’s always tomorrow with a brand new something that I suddenly must buy.

It’s a book, that I’ll probably never read.

It’s a video game, that I’ll probably stop playing after a day or two.

It’s a new yoga mat, or a pair of running shoes.

It’s always something to keep me from doing what I really should be doing, which is the hard work.

The hard work of meditation.

The hard work of writing.

The hard work of running.

The hard work of being compassionate.

The hard work of helping others.

Perhaps people felt this in a pre-consumerist world, but it doesn’t matter, because it is what it is.

Buying things might make you (or me) happy for a moment, but then it’s on to the next one, and damn that’s a hard thing to accept.

My emotions say “this is the last one, I promise!”

My rational mind says “you got me last time, I don’t believe you.”

Yet the emotion wins more often than not, and again I come to realize that this much is true:
The world, your mind, and everything outside of your own true nature, will try to convince you that you are not complete. You are complete…you just have to accept the responsibility that comes with that.

Are you ready to do that? Am I?

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Tags: consumerism, desire

Today I heard a story, from my wife, from her friend, of a friend.

A baby, perhaps you could say toddler, at just 14 shining months, had sadly lost its life in an accident. It was something you’d never think would happen to you – a bite of a pretzel. Just a pretzel, yet it took a life full of hope, and sent it home before its time.

This story was especially hard hitting to our family because we have a 14 month old, and he’s so full of life and love that I cannot imagine life without him.

This was not someone from the news, but the child of a friend, of a friend. Three degrees of separation.

For this family, life will never be the same, and even though I don’t know them, I grieve for them.

I don’t say this to get you down, or to make you feel sorry for them. I say it to remind you that know matter where you are in your dharma journey, or what you know about life and the impermanence of it, that there’s one thing you can never do too much, which is to give.

Give your love, give your compassion, and give your things.

Tell those in your family, and at arms reach, that you love them and that they matter, because no matter how far we must travel alone, we still travel together, as each other.

When I think about a scratch on my new car, or a chip in my iPhone, or a bad month at work, I have nothing to complain about, because no matter how much I lose, there’s always someone, at this very minute, losing that which is most important to them.

Living the dharma is not just about spirituality or about learning to live stress free and present. It’s also about learning to live without.

Cherish every moment.

Tags: death, grief, mourning

One of the problems that occurs when you learn to live your dharma is that at some point, things start to become OK, and your suffering starts to diminish. And while a lack of suffering seems like a great problem to have, or even problem-less, for a novice like me, it can lead you to a place of contentment where you don’t feel you need dharma anymore.

Suddenly, things are alright, and you drift back into a state of worldly seeking. It’s almost automatic, and such a gradual change that it is very difficult to discern.

At some point, you’ve closed your senses to the dharma and your connection to the spiritual closes off. That’s when the universe has no choice but to disrupt your life – often times in a dramatic fashion.

Very recently, this happened to me. Things were going OK, and I stopped reading, meditating, and learning. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, but I just couldn’t find the time.

I started craving, desiring, and seeking. I was seeing red, where before I was seeing blue.

At first, the universe tried to tap me on the shoulder. Little things started to break. Clothes started to stain. I couldn’t find my watch.

No big deal. Those things are inexpensive, and I can easily fix or replace them.

The message went unnoticed.

Next, the universe tried a bit harder. It spoke in my ear and put a little pressure on my arm.

I woke up and someone sprayed silly string on my 10 year old car. No big deal – it’s old, and it’s paid off. It already had a few scratches anyway.

The universe didn’t give up.

It started following me everywhere, cutting me off as I tried to walk away.

My precious iPhone, which was in perfect condition, suddenly fell out of my pocket and got scratched and dented to hell. For a few days I fumed over it, and then I stopped caring. The new iPhone was coming out in June, I’ll just buy a new one then.

The universe kept going.

It gathered full speed and tackled me to the turf, holding me down while it spoke.

My brand new car, which happened to be the most expensive car I’d ever purchased, got hit by a rock and got its first dent. A few days later, a scratch showed up. Later, my Macbook Air, another new shiny device I was proud of, fell off the couch and got its first ding.

Suddenly, things were falling apart all around me, beginning with my most beloved and expensive possessions.

And that’s when it hit me.

Nothing Lasts Forever, Even if You Try to Force it to

Of course I knew this already, but I tried to hide in ignorance. As you can see, it didn’t work.

The interesting thing about dharma is that when you stop practicing, it starts practicing for you. I had shut the universe out of my life, leaving it no choice but to interrupt to get my attention once more.

It now has my attention.

This was my lesson on impermanence, and it hurt. I learned that you can’t outrun it, no matter how hard you try. I learned that even the sturdiest and most valuable possessions will fall apart before you are ready for them to. Most importantly, I learned that it’s coming for me next.

Acknowledging impermanence is suffering, but it’s less than what comes with ignorance. The universe has endless energy, and it never gives up. We are the rock the waves beat against in order to create perfection.

As I spend my days toiling in my own obscurity, for some reason wishing that I could become more than what I already am, I’m confronted with an array of choices, varying from simple to complex. And even though I still struggle with my own mortality, and my own impact on this world, there is one place that I believe I can make an impact, and that’s in choosing not to cause harm to innocents people and/or creatures.

I’ve been a vegetarian for just over 10 years now, and though I try not to preach or look down at people that aren’t, I do want to get something off my chest…

I don’t know if there is a heaven or a hell.

I don’t know if Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Krishna, or any other deity really exists.

I don’t know anything really, but I do know this:

I can never look into the eyes of an animal and proceed to take its life.

I know that if there’s any way that I can help something in this world, it’s that I can refuse to take its life, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

I’m just as lost as this elephant running from men, the rabbit running scared in the forest, and as the zebra running from the lion. There is panic, hurt, and vengeance as far as the eye can see. My best way to live my dharma is by not adding to it.

I’ve been craving simplicity.

Not just because it’s cool, or because I’m ready to travel barefoot across the world, but simply…because it feels good.

I walk through my house and find boxes that I’ve not opened in 2 moves.

I find bins I haven’t checked in years.

Every wall has a piece of furniture.

Every flat space something placed on top.

Why do I need all of this?

I don’t use more than 10-25% of it, but keep telling myself that the rest will come in handy later.

For a while, it was a scarcity thing, but finances are fine now and I don’t need any of it.

I don’t even mow my own lawn anymore, so why would I need 2 week wackers?

I’ve got shelves and shelves full of books I’ve never read, nor do I intend to read them.

I’ve got VHS tapes, CD’s, and DVD’s that I don’t use.

What do you do with all this stuff?

I’ve decided to go digital with eveyrthing that I can (CD’s, tapes, DVD’s). That helps.

But what about everything else? It takes my energy…it saps me of concentration. So instead of just making piles of stuff I don’t use so that I can sell or give it away, I’ve just decided to put it on the curb and let people grab it.

Yeah, I throw stuff away too, and I don’t feel bad about it. The energy I save in doing so frees me to make more for the world than I’m throwing away.

A clutter free house is a clutter free mind…I know it sounds cliche, but it’s the truth.

I want peace. I want focus. I want productivity.

I’ll get rid of everything I have to in order to achieve that.

Tags: simple

“I died as mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal,
I died as animal and I was man.
Why should I fear?
When was I less by dying?”

-Rumi

Tags: death, dying, reincarnation, Rumi

Finding Balance

I learned a valuable lesson recently, and it’s something that could have saved me a lot of time and frustration had I learned it years ago.

Alas, there’s always room for growth, and this is one of those steps for me.

I’m a driven guy, in fact, some would say too much so.

I don’t know when to let up, and I have a hard time admitting that.

I also have an extremely spiritual side that I often neglect. It works in phases…sometimes I’m all spirit and no business, while others I’m so busy thinking about business growth that I neglect my spirit.

Today, I found out how to fix that, and it all comes down to balance.

I realized that there’s a duality that exists within all of us. Each of us has the spirit and the strength. Each is as strong as the other, and requires just as much attention.

The problem is that many of us, like I do, become unbalanced and try to force the issue. It’s like trying to fire a bullet into a bucket of water. It hits like a block of steel. But if you just drop the bullet, then it breaches without any resistance.

Life is Unbalanced

Life is like that. Unbalanced, our efforts, no matter how great or how valiant, are as worthless as a man trying to cut through stone with a blade of grass. It’s impossible.

However, if you treat both sides of your nature equally, you become like a chisel, able to puncture stone with ease.

That balance is tough to achieve, but you can feel when it isn’t in place. It’s like trying to balance a scale without a counterweight…it isn’t possible. But…if you stand with a foot on both sides of the scale, then you have something to stand on.

Find that Place

Try to find that place in your life where you are in harmony with your own nature. Try to remain present and thoughtful at all times. If something doesn’t feel right…if you feel like you’re drilling rock instead of soil, then take a step back and re-evaluate.

In my case, the business is just a means to an end. It’s a way to achieve many of the spiritual ends that I desire. However, when I lose sight of those ends, and focus on the means, then I get off course and lose my balance.

Today, I found it once more, but every day is an effort in discipline. You’ll never have it perfect, but if you practice, you will get close. It’s not being perfect that’s important anyway, it’s knowing when you aren’t.

Tags: balance, life, spirit, work

Stop Being So Religious
What
Do sad people have in
Common?

It seems
They have all built a shrine
To the past
And often go there
And do a strange wail and
Worship.

What is the beginning of
Happiness?
It is to stop being
So religious
Like That.

From: “The Gift” – versions of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

Tags: hafiz, Poetry, religion

When I was a teenager, I used to spend hours in my room doing nothing but listening to music.

I’d slip on a pair of headphones, and spend the rest of the evening thinking about the world…what it meant, who I am, and where I belong. I’d think about my past, my present, and my future.

Sometimes I’d get excited…sometimes I’d sob.

Music touched me in a way that nothing else could, and it was some of the best “me time,” I’ve ever spent.

The World Barges In

And then something happened…

I got caught up in trying to earn a living.

I got caught up trying to be there for my friends and family.

I got caught up trying to plan a perfect future.

Soon, I’m not spending any more time in the corner of my room with the headphones on, and I’m losing touch with the deeper aspects of life.

Don’t Forget

Death catches us all, and he who is least prepared is most distressed when it comes.

I’m not trying to bring you down, but the truth is…we only have a finite time to spend in this existence…why not make it count?

Making money is great. Being a great husband, wife, father, or mother is great. But don’t forget the rest. Don’t forget that spiritual part of you that is always the last to be fed and the first to be neglected.

I forgot, and it took a long time before I realized why I was unhappy. So you know what I did to fix it?

I put on a pair of headphones.

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Life throws a lot of curveballs at us. We plan on going one way, and somehow end up on a different path. We get lost before we’re found, and sometimes we don’t get found at all.

That’s when a new journey begins, and, what I really believe, is the start of pursuing our true path.

No amount of planning, goal setting, or clinging can stop you from living your life the way it was meant to be lived…it’s inevitable.

No, I’m not saying that you aren’t in control…instead I’m saying that sometimes where you think you need to be is not always where you truly need to be.

The Door That Wouldn’t Open

Have you ever noticed that some doors just won’t open? Many of them are those closed long ago, but others are doors that look really shiny and new. They look special…and we want to turn the handle and walk in.

There were times when I would turn that doorknob over and over again, waiting for it to finally turn. I’d set up camp, and stay on guard for the minute that door opened. In the process…I’m watching other people open their doors, and that makes me even more antsy…I can’t stand it!

And then suddenly, I would notice another door just around the corner, one that entered the same room, but I couldn’t see because I wouldn’t stop and take a look around to look at other options. I was so fixated on that one door, that it never occured to me to try another.

Take Your Time Choosing a Door

I’ve learned now to always expect the winds to move my sails in the opposite direction of where I was going, and instead of trying to fight it…I simply use it to help me find another way there.

You can’t control everything, and honestly…it feels good to leave a little room for the unexpected. Anything else is boring.

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