Finding Balance

I learned a valuable lesson recently, and it’s something that could have saved me a lot of time and frustration had I learned it years ago.

Alas, there’s always room for growth, and this is one of those steps for me.

I’m a driven guy, in fact, some would say too much so.

I don’t know when to let up, and I have a hard time admitting that.

I also have an extremely spiritual side that I often neglect. It works in phases…sometimes I’m all spirit and no business, while others I’m so busy thinking about business growth that I neglect my spirit.

Today, I found out how to fix that, and it all comes down to balance.

I realized that there’s a duality that exists within all of us. Each of us has the spirit and the strength. Each is as strong as the other, and requires just as much attention.

The problem is that many of us, like I do, become unbalanced and try to force the issue. It’s like trying to fire a bullet into a bucket of water. It hits like a block of steel. But if you just drop the bullet, then it breaches without any resistance.

Life is Unbalanced

Life is like that. Unbalanced, our efforts, no matter how great or how valiant, are as worthless as a man trying to cut through stone with a blade of grass. It’s impossible.

However, if you treat both sides of your nature equally, you become like a chisel, able to puncture stone with ease.

That balance is tough to achieve, but you can feel when it isn’t in place. It’s like trying to balance a scale without a counterweight…it isn’t possible. But…if you stand with a foot on both sides of the scale, then you have something to stand on.

Find that Place

Try to find that place in your life where you are in harmony with your own nature. Try to remain present and thoughtful at all times. If something doesn’t feel right…if you feel like you’re drilling rock instead of soil, then take a step back and re-evaluate.

In my case, the business is just a means to an end. It’s a way to achieve many of the spiritual ends that I desire. However, when I lose sight of those ends, and focus on the means, then I get off course and lose my balance.

Today, I found it once more, but every day is an effort in discipline. You’ll never have it perfect, but if you practice, you will get close. It’s not being perfect that’s important anyway, it’s knowing when you aren’t.

Life throws a lot of curveballs at us. We plan on going one way, and somehow end up on a different path. We get lost before we’re found, and sometimes we don’t get found at all.

That’s when a new journey begins, and, what I really believe, is the start of pursuing our true path.

No amount of planning, goal setting, or clinging can stop you from living your life the way it was meant to be lived…it’s inevitable.

No, I’m not saying that you aren’t in control…instead I’m saying that sometimes where you think you need to be is not always where you truly need to be.

The Door That Wouldn’t Open

Have you ever noticed that some doors just won’t open? Many of them are those closed long ago, but others are doors that look really shiny and new. They look special…and we want to turn the handle and walk in.

There were times when I would turn that doorknob over and over again, waiting for it to finally turn. I’d set up camp, and stay on guard for the minute that door opened. In the process…I’m watching other people open their doors, and that makes me even more antsy…I can’t stand it!

And then suddenly, I would notice another door just around the corner, one that entered the same room, but I couldn’t see because I wouldn’t stop and take a look around to look at other options. I was so fixated on that one door, that it never occured to me to try another.

Take Your Time Choosing a Door

I’ve learned now to always expect the winds to move my sails in the opposite direction of where I was going, and instead of trying to fight it…I simply use it to help me find another way there.

You can’t control everything, and honestly…it feels good to leave a little room for the unexpected. Anything else is boring.

Image Credit

Courtesy of LadyVivian

Who I am today is nothing like the man from yesterday, let alone the man from years ago. If I had an opportunity to meet my future self, I might not even recognize him.

There’s no hiding the fact that the decisions you make today are impacted by the experiences of the past. It’s part of what makes this journey so fascinating and so unpredictable. Have you ever noticed that no matter how many goals you set for yourself, there is always something that gets in the way of most? I call this my Dharma, and although I think I see the path in front of me, I have no assurances that I’m the one in control of that path.

So what does this mean for you and I?

Let’s start with who we are…we are made of building blocks. Some blocks are more firm than others, but by and large, our identity is sealed into place by the bricks of our experiences and the mortar of our feelings toward them. Notice I said that the mortar is made of your emotional reaction towards your experiences. I firmly believe that if you allow every experience to be a teacher, a reminder that you are working your way towards living your Dharma, then no matter what happens…you will be able to take it in stride.

Conversely, if you continue to react adversely to situations that don’t feel like they were meant to be, then you are only cementing more pain and suffering into your life. That is an extremely unpleasant way to live.

I was reading the book Zen Shorts, by Jon Muth, with my children, and I was fascinated by the manner in which the storyteller (in this case a panda), was able to take life as it flowed. It isn’t an easy frame of mind to obtain, but there is merit to be had from seeing each experience as a building block rather than a stumbling block.

Now, as for following your path…try to remember that you aren’t in control and no matter how hard you try, there will be twists and turns that you didn’t expect. Rather than fight the current of change, why not embrace it and see where you wind up? Sometimes it isn’t the plan that’s important…it’s the journey. Try to enjoy it.

I’ve been a Buddhist/Christian/Sufi/Tao/Zen Disciple for probably 10 years now. I can’t really say what drew me to spirituality other than a deep unshakable calling inside of my very being. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel the compulsion towards a higher force and I can’t recall a time that I could explain it properly to anyone else. Live the Dharma is something I gave a lot of thought into before going live, but in the end I realized that it was time to try and explain my calling to others.

Now that I have been writing here for several months, I’ve come to realize two things.

1. Although I have been writing about topics I find important, I have not been writing about the true nature of my purpose here. Maybe I was afraid there wouldn’t be any interest, but for some reason I have been skirting the heavy issues and slowly inching towards defining that purpose rather than simply coming out with it.
2. There is a second calling that has worked its way into the mix, and I feel so strong of an urge to make it manifest, that no amount of procrastination can keep it from happening.

It may sound as if I am talking in riddles here, so I’ll simply come out with it. I am going to begin the process of moving towards topics that are both more refined and more intense rather than the feel good topics I have been covering lately. The truth is that life is much too important to take lightly and I don’t believe we humans have the luxury of being superficial in our quests for truth.

Secondly, I am simply tired of suffering. I am not referring to my own personal sufferings, because for those I am grateful because they lead me on my journey to freedom from them. However, the suffering of the world is tremendously painful for me to watch. Animals suffer in labs and food factories. Children suffer through abuse and neglect. Men and women suffer through rape and violence. Every day thousands of people are needlessly taken from their families through cruel acts of murder or even accidental acts of killing. War devastates much of the world and families have to bury their children due to ill-placed bombs. In the place I reside currently, I see children as young as 3 years old digging through trash trying to find something to eat; orphaned by the war. Everywhere I look I see suffering…and I cannot bear it. For far too long we humans have been the cause, not the answer.

I have decided to devote my life to pursuing the path of the Bodhisattva as much as I can while still maintaining my familial obligations. I realize that those two goals don’t necessarily mesh well, but I can’t exactly help others if I cannot help my family and self first. After all, that is part of the process right?

Secondly, and really the entire purpose of this post…I am starting a foundation to help do my part to end suffering and I am going to need your help. The foundation will be called: The Dharma Foundation and its message will be “We Want to Stop the Suffering.” I am dedicating this foundation to preventing suffering through campaigns and charity work to spread good will and faith to the world, while also helping to minimize suffering for those that may find themselves in need.

The world needs messages of hope and faith. People need to know that there are people that care about them and that they don’t have to suffer alone. We can help to prevent the suffering of animals, children, and adults. We can help the weak, the poor, the hungry, and the lost. There are many organizations doing this already, but I believe that we can do it better and with more mercy and compassion than ever before. I will soon be sending out a press release to announce this project in more detail and I ask your support in helping get the message out. I also ask for the help of any of you willing to offer services in the way of web or graphic design for this project. I cannot pay you, but you will receive full credit in as many ways as possible. This simply cannot be a solo effort, I cannot go in alone. Together we can all make a difference, and I hope you will be with me. I want to stop the suffering.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts…

Padma