A baby, perhaps you could say toddler, at just 14 shining months, had sadly lost its life in an accident. It was something you’d never think would happen to you – a bite of a pretzel. Just a pretzel, yet it took a life full of hope, and sent it home before its time.

This story was especially hard hitting to our family because we have a 14 month old, and he’s so full of life and love that I cannot imagine life without him.

This was not someone from the news, but the child of a friend, of a friend. Three degrees of separation.

For this family, life will never be the same, and even though I don’t know them, I grieve for them.

I don’t say this to get you down, or to make you feel sorry for them. I say it to remind you that know matter where you are in your dharma journey, or what you know about life and the impermanence of it, that there’s one thing you can never do too much, which is to give.

Give your love, give your compassion, and give your things.

Tell those in your family, and at arms reach, that you love them and that they matter, because no matter how far we must travel alone, we still travel together, as each other.

When I think about a scratch on my new car, or a chip in my iPhone, or a bad month at work, I have nothing to complain about, because no matter how much I lose, there’s always someone, at this very minute, losing that which is most important to them.

Living the dharma is not just about spirituality or about learning to live stress free and present. It’s also about learning to live without.

Cherish every moment.

One of the problems that occurs when you learn to live your dharma is that at some point, things start to become OK, and your suffering starts to diminish. And while a lack of suffering seems like a great problem to have, or even problem-less, for a novice like me, it can lead you to a place of contentment where you don’t feel you need dharma anymore.

Suddenly, things are alright, and you drift back into a state of worldly seeking. It’s almost automatic, and such a gradual change that it is very difficult to discern.

At some point, you’ve closed your senses to the dharma and your connection to the spiritual closes off. That’s when the universe has no choice but to disrupt your life – often times in a dramatic fashion.

Very recently, this happened to me. Things were going OK, and I stopped reading, meditating, and learning. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, but I just couldn’t find the time.

I started craving, desiring, and seeking. I was seeing red, where before I was seeing blue.

At first, the universe tried to tap me on the shoulder. Little things started to break. Clothes started to stain. I couldn’t find my watch.

No big deal. Those things are inexpensive, and I can easily fix or replace them.

The message went unnoticed.

Next, the universe tried a bit harder. It spoke in my ear and put a little pressure on my arm.

I woke up and someone sprayed silly string on my 10 year old car. No big deal – it’s old, and it’s paid off. It already had a few scratches anyway.

The universe didn’t give up.

It started following me everywhere, cutting me off as I tried to walk away.

My precious iPhone, which was in perfect condition, suddenly fell out of my pocket and got scratched and dented to hell. For a few days I fumed over it, and then I stopped caring. The new iPhone was coming out in June, I’ll just buy a new one then.

The universe kept going.

It gathered full speed and tackled me to the turf, holding me down while it spoke.

My brand new car, which happened to be the most expensive car I’d ever purchased, got hit by a rock and got its first dent. A few days later, a scratch showed up. Later, my Macbook Air, another new shiny device I was proud of, fell off the couch and got its first ding.

Suddenly, things were falling apart all around me, beginning with my most beloved and expensive possessions.

And that’s when it hit me.

Nothing Lasts Forever, Even if You Try to Force it to

Of course I knew this already, but I tried to hide in ignorance. As you can see, it didn’t work.

The interesting thing about dharma is that when you stop practicing, it starts practicing for you. I had shut the universe out of my life, leaving it no choice but to interrupt to get my attention once more.

It now has my attention.

This was my lesson on impermanence, and it hurt. I learned that you can’t outrun it, no matter how hard you try. I learned that even the sturdiest and most valuable possessions will fall apart before you are ready for them to. Most importantly, I learned that it’s coming for me next.

Acknowledging impermanence is suffering, but it’s less than what comes with ignorance. The universe has endless energy, and it never gives up. We are the rock the waves beat against in order to create perfection.

As I spend my days toiling in my own obscurity, for some reason wishing that I could become more than what I already am, I’m confronted with an array of choices, varying from simple to complex. And even though I still struggle with my own mortality, and my own impact on this world, there is one place that I believe I can make an impact, and that’s in choosing not to cause harm to innocents people and/or creatures.

I’ve been a vegetarian for just over 10 years now, and though I try not to preach or look down at people that aren’t, I do want to get something off my chest…

I don’t know if there is a heaven or a hell.

I don’t know if Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Krishna, or any other deity really exists.

I don’t know anything really, but I do know this:

I can never look into the eyes of an animal and proceed to take its life.

I know that if there’s any way that I can help something in this world, it’s that I can refuse to take its life, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

I’m just as lost as this elephant running from men, the rabbit running scared in the forest, and as the zebra running from the lion. There is panic, hurt, and vengeance as far as the eye can see. My best way to live my dharma is by not adding to it.

I’ve been craving simplicity.

Not just because it’s cool, or because I’m ready to travel barefoot across the world, but simply…because it feels good.

I walk through my house and find boxes that I’ve not opened in 2 moves.

I find bins I haven’t checked in years.

Every wall has a piece of furniture.

Every flat space something placed on top.

Why do I need all of this?

I don’t use more than 10-25% of it, but keep telling myself that the rest will come in handy later.

For a while, it was a scarcity thing, but finances are fine now and I don’t need any of it.

I don’t even mow my own lawn anymore, so why would I need 2 week wackers?

I’ve got shelves and shelves full of books I’ve never read, nor do I intend to read them.

I’ve got VHS tapes, CD’s, and DVD’s that I don’t use.

What do you do with all this stuff?

I’ve decided to go digital with eveyrthing that I can (CD’s, tapes, DVD’s). That helps.

But what about everything else? It takes my energy…it saps me of concentration. So instead of just making piles of stuff I don’t use so that I can sell or give it away, I’ve just decided to put it on the curb and let people grab it.

Yeah, I throw stuff away too, and I don’t feel bad about it. The energy I save in doing so frees me to make more for the world than I’m throwing away.

A clutter free house is a clutter free mind…I know it sounds cliche, but it’s the truth.

I want peace. I want focus. I want productivity.

I’ll get rid of everything I have to in order to achieve that.

Finding Balance

I learned a valuable lesson recently, and it’s something that could have saved me a lot of time and frustration had I learned it years ago.

Alas, there’s always room for growth, and this is one of those steps for me.

I’m a driven guy, in fact, some would say too much so.

I don’t know when to let up, and I have a hard time admitting that.

I also have an extremely spiritual side that I often neglect. It works in phases…sometimes I’m all spirit and no business, while others I’m so busy thinking about business growth that I neglect my spirit.

Today, I found out how to fix that, and it all comes down to balance.

I realized that there’s a duality that exists within all of us. Each of us has the spirit and the strength. Each is as strong as the other, and requires just as much attention.

The problem is that many of us, like I do, become unbalanced and try to force the issue. It’s like trying to fire a bullet into a bucket of water. It hits like a block of steel. But if you just drop the bullet, then it breaches without any resistance.

Life is Unbalanced

Life is like that. Unbalanced, our efforts, no matter how great or how valiant, are as worthless as a man trying to cut through stone with a blade of grass. It’s impossible.

However, if you treat both sides of your nature equally, you become like a chisel, able to puncture stone with ease.

That balance is tough to achieve, but you can feel when it isn’t in place. It’s like trying to balance a scale without a counterweight…it isn’t possible. But…if you stand with a foot on both sides of the scale, then you have something to stand on.

Find that Place

Try to find that place in your life where you are in harmony with your own nature. Try to remain present and thoughtful at all times. If something doesn’t feel right…if you feel like you’re drilling rock instead of soil, then take a step back and re-evaluate.

In my case, the business is just a means to an end. It’s a way to achieve many of the spiritual ends that I desire. However, when I lose sight of those ends, and focus on the means, then I get off course and lose my balance.

Today, I found it once more, but every day is an effort in discipline. You’ll never have it perfect, but if you practice, you will get close. It’s not being perfect that’s important anyway, it’s knowing when you aren’t.

Stop Being So Religious
What
Do sad people have in
Common?

It seems
They have all built a shrine
To the past
And often go there
And do a strange wail and
Worship.

What is the beginning of
Happiness?
It is to stop being
So religious
Like That.

From: “The Gift” – versions of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

When I was a teenager, I used to spend hours in my room doing nothing but listening to music.

I’d slip on a pair of headphones, and spend the rest of the evening thinking about the world…what it meant, who I am, and where I belong. I’d think about my past, my present, and my future.

Sometimes I’d get excited…sometimes I’d sob.

Music touched me in a way that nothing else could, and it was some of the best “me time,” I’ve ever spent.

The World Barges In

And then something happened…

I got caught up in trying to earn a living.

I got caught up trying to be there for my friends and family.

I got caught up trying to plan a perfect future.

Soon, I’m not spending any more time in the corner of my room with the headphones on, and I’m losing touch with the deeper aspects of life.

Don’t Forget

Death catches us all, and he who is least prepared is most distressed when it comes.

I’m not trying to bring you down, but the truth is…we only have a finite time to spend in this existence…why not make it count?

Making money is great. Being a great husband, wife, father, or mother is great. But don’t forget the rest. Don’t forget that spiritual part of you that is always the last to be fed and the first to be neglected.

I forgot, and it took a long time before I realized why I was unhappy. So you know what I did to fix it?

I put on a pair of headphones.

Image Credit

There are some that teach us to feel guilty for being born in this skin. Others will have you believe we are less than perfect. All of that may be true, but I refuse to believe it.

We’ve been given a gift of seeing what it is truly like to live. We struggle, sometimes alone and sometimes together. We suffer, we laugh, we cry…we love. We spend our lives hoping, searching, and sacrificing our lives for love. We all feel deeply tied to each other, even though we try to forget.
Sometimes the suffering is too much and we quietly return to our shells…hoping that our luck will change. We often feel alone, but we know that we are not. Somewhere, someplace, there is a being or a spirit that lives within us.

We should not feel guilty, for we are born to be exactly as we are. Perfectly formed beings filled with the intention of our creator. Whether or not you believe in a god is irrelevant. We are the very act of a nature so great and powerful that we do not understand.

Universes bent to the will of fate…by the hand of nature herself, in order for this miracle of life to take place. By chance or by fate, it has happened and the likelihood of it happening anywhere else or at any other time is virtually nonexistent.

Celebrate who you are, even if your times are dire. Someday we will all realize that we are in this together. Someday the consciousness of man will shift further toward the divine and when we all wake up what a glorious day that will be.

Don’t feel guilty in your own skin, be thankful for the chance to shine. Be grateful that you’ve been able to see what it was like to suffer, for now you understand joy. Be thankful for war, for now you know peace.

In the end, whether our souls move on our perish forever, our memories will be imprinted on the very space we inhabit. We will remain forever on the fabric of time.

Although future generations may not know us, the universe will forever keep us in her memory. That my friends, is why we do matter. Just as we learn from the universe, the universe learns from us. Let us cherish that.

Image by Rosemary

I’ve written often on the topic of dreams and returning to childhood innocence, but I have been feeling like I haven’t really said everything I needed to say. Then recently, when I found a new blog called The Illumined Mind, I read a post that really touched on some things I have been thinking lately.

In his post, the author talks about some things in our lives that hold us back from really achieving the ability to walk the path of our own Dharma, such as everyday tastks, addiction, security, ego, and desire. I couldn’t agree more with this thesis. It is so easy to get caught up in the trap of being satisfied, rather than fulfilled that we allow ourselves to be tricked into thinking we are ok. We create this hole inside of our souls that grows deeper every day that we ignore it, until it is so large that we are consumed by the realization that we are not only unhappy, but we are miserable.

We have to remember that being happy isn’t always a comfortable process and it rarely happens easily. There are lures and traps all over the world that try to bind us to unhappiness. We get caught in the trap of law, of morality, of social normalcy, and of what is commonly accepted. I’m going to say this once:

No One Owns You

You are not tied to any action by more than the strings of your mind that tell you it is wrong or uncomfortable to do anything otherwise. It is very difficult to swim upstream, but it is easy to gaze downstream and see where that path leads.

The law doesn’t own you, your country doesn’t own you, your job doesn’t own you, and your family do not own you. There is no you to be owned, there is simply what must be done and what is being done. When you merge the action of what is done and what must be done, then you will find that you are on the path…you are living your Dharma. Do not be fooled into thinking that you are different or irrational, you are more than that because you do not fear what others will think or say about you.

Become what you know you must become, there is no other way to happiness and there is no other way to enlightenment.

Living Your Dreams

In the last two parts of the series, I talked about eyeing the world with innocence, and keeping hope alive. In the final installment of this series, I’d like to talk about keeping your dreams alive. Now, nowhere in the manual of life does it have to say that you have to reach for the stars. However, I’m betting that when you were a child you had a great many dreams about what you expected out of life. Now if you compare the dreams of your childhood or teenage years and with your life now, I am betting that the two are a little out of sync. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’ve given up, but it does mean that one of two things happened:

1. Your dreams have changed     …or
2. You lost them somewhere along the way.

If your dreams have changed, then there is nothing wrong with re-evaluating what you want out of life. The key is to make sure you don’t forget that part of the process. If you dreamed about being a therapist and later thought you’d rather travel the world and be a missionary, then it is important to note that change in philosophy. I highly suggest keeping a journal for things like this. I keep a notebook within arms reach at all times, and in this notebook I chronicle everything I want to be. I write down reminders for action as well as reminders of who I was and what I am.

I’m not suggesting we strive to achieve meaningless physical goods, but that you simply keep track of who you are. It is so easy to get caught up in the grind and struggle of everyday life that sometimes we forget where we were headed. This is especially important when it comes to spirituality. If I want to meditate or keep a certain mindset it can be very difficult without a reminder at times. What I’m trying to say is that it is easy to get off track and eventually we get caught in the current and lose ourselves in the process. Rather than letting this happen to you, spend some time figuring out what makes you happy and what kind of life you’d like to live. If you aren’t actively living, then you are going to get pushed in a direction you may not want to go.

Now, if you don’t fall into category one and simply lost your dreams in the process then it is important that you recover them immediately. Whether they were forced out of you by working a 9-5, you gave up on them, or you simply pushed them into your subconscious you need to get back to the dreaming self you were as a child. The most recognizable symptom I notice when it comes to someone leaving their dreams behind is that they have also lost their imagination. Maybe you feel guilty going against the grain, or maybe you just haven’t spent time relaxing and letting your imagination go wild…but I am betting that you could use the relief gained from going on an imagination trip.

I really enjoy mind mapping for something like this, although a blank sheet of paper will do just as well. Start by writing down what sort of things you would like to have in your life on a daily basis. Maybe its more yoga, maybe learning a musical instrument, or maybe learning another language. Anything is possible. I know this sounds like a typical self-help exercise, but bear with me just a moment.

I’m confident that if you just engage your imagination as often as you can, you will find yourself seeing things in a different way. You will start to release yourself from the bonds that keep you down and you will start dreaming again. This dreaming is what will allow you to focus on the path that leads you to your dharma and to start walking it with confidence. Everyone’s journey is unique…we have to drive our own train to freedom!

Dreaming allows you to feel ok going against the grain. Dreaming keeps you young at heart and your imagination on fire! Dreaming teaches you that this world is not what it seems, its up to you to get there!

So in the end, I’m asking you to look beyond the ignorance and try to see the world for what it really is…a beautiful and unlimited masterpiece! Find hope in your world and pass it around to those that need it most. And don’t forget to bring that little child inside when you venture throughout the world. He/She wants to stroll right along side you and help you keep the innocence alive.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this series as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. I’m looking forward to your comments and hope you share your journey with me as much as I have mine with you. Until next time…

Padma